everyday eight

today, just like yesterday...

2009-11-09T23:45:00.001+08:00

You know how to melt thy fragile heart.

for you.

2009-10-21T22:00:00.002+08:00

I received your message a while ago. At first, it made me think if I should open your sms or it would be better to erase it without reading. I should have done the latter. Maybe it would have saved our friendship.

Here's your forwarded quote:

"I learned to love someone with all my life... But there came a point when I got tired, not of loving but of sacrificing all that I have. Then a thought came to my mind... I have given everything but have received nothing but pain and tears in return. is this enough to prove that I really love that person? Or is it a sign telling me to stop sacrificing and learn to love myself a little more?"

Here is what I have to say...

First, you don't have the right to tell me that you have loved with all of your life. God knows how long I have waited for you to act a little more mature. A little more responsible. Heck, all I am asking was for you to show that I am important for you. I am important than playing DOTA or going out with your friends. I waited for you to appreciate the things that I have done. I waited for almost a year for you to change and act better. But with the time I gave you, you did nothing but to please your ego. I never felt that love that you are saying. I never felt important when I am with you. Honestly, you made me feel like trash. You walk ahead of me, never gave any concern when I lost a relative, and you never appreciated everything that I did for you. Even a simple letter that I was asking from you was not realized. Talk about effort? You have NONE.

If you didn't get tired of loving, well, I did. With the time that you made me wait for you, figuratively and literally, anyone would get tired. Anyone in my position would eventually stop. I should know. I tried to hold on, but you kept pushing me away.

Now, you are saying that you have given everything and received nothing but tears? WTF! those are the exact words that I should be ranting at this moment. You definitely know what I mean. Now, you are asking me to wait? Oh come on! I might be in love with you but that does not keep me away from my senses. I did love you. But I also love MYSELF.

You loved no one but yourself. Even your parents, (oh I miss them so much) would agree with me. You are a brat. You are inconsiderate. You have your own good qualities but all of them are used for your own benefit. Just try to grow up. Don't act like a damsel in distress. That should have been my role. From the start of this relationship, we have exchanged part. You act childish most of the times. You rant more than I do and the list would go on.

WTF did I do to you to tell me that it was my fault why you are like this? You try to ruin your life because of what happend? WTF! WTF! WTF! If you really wanted that relationship then you shoould have exerted a little effort. And what did you just tell me? When you felt that we are about to break up, you reserved girls? Wow! You just dig a hole for yourself! before, I felt guilty. But not any more. You dont have the right to make me feel like trash. Just because you are one, does not mean you should also treat others that way. You have a great family. Something that I would want to have. They are the ones that kept me holding on. But I hope, they understand why I had to do it. I no longer care what you want to say. Bullshit happens. Our time is done.

pieces

2009-02-03T09:05:00.002+08:00

One of the keys- that is you and me. We are just a piece that may complement each other. Like a piece of a puzzle, you can try to squeeze a piece into a hole. But this does not mean that they fit. There are somethings that simple aren't meant to be.

circles

2009-01-22T06:18:00.000+08:00

we are following a cycle. circles that little by little, consumes me. leaving nothing for me. leaving me feel blank.

out of focus

2009-01-21T08:13:00.000+08:00

Some things are clear, but the general picture is not. The base is clear, the background is understood. But the main subject is not. How can something be restored? How can you make it clear? Show me.

getting stronger

2009-01-20T07:03:00.000+08:00

strong like metals, I hope that's what we are.
hardened through fire and hardships, molded by love. :)

synergy

2009-01-19T04:07:00.003+08:00

One used candle, and the other is not. They are different, just like us.
But they can also be similar on other aspects. And like us, their synergy is much appreciated together.

2009-01-18T05:52:00.002+08:00

These are already off seasoned decors but they carry a memory of you and me. :)

facing different directions

2009-01-17T12:45:00.002+08:00

we both have ideals, and we both have thoughts. they are normally contradicting, or we're simply not rooted on the same grounds. But I hope, there will be a generalization, or at least something made out of two contradicting thoughts- like an eight in the picture. :)

2009-01-16T01:23:00.003+08:00

What I'm gonna say is not in any way related to the picture. But heck I want to spill these thoughts in this blog...

We have started a story and I really hope that this would not end. I hate open ended stories as I hate thinking about events that I'm not really sure if they will ever happen. No one knows what will happen in the future and its typical for me to think of the many possibilities. Some may be bad, atrocious, or whatever. I'm just happy that at least, there is a possibility for the future to have "us". :)

If there won't be, at the very least, we have now. I have you, and you have me. :)

going places

2009-01-15T01:59:00.002+08:00

we might be going places in the future, but remember that no matter where you want to go, I'll always back you up. I may not necessarily with you. But I'll be waiting. :)

framed

2009-01-14T10:17:00.001+08:00

framed.
boxed.
limited.
paired.

:)

shiny

2009-01-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

in this picture...
eight is-
shining... :)
but can you guess what they really are?

blocks

2009-01-12T13:19:00.002+08:00

I'm enjoying life...
Acting like a child...
Playing...
Having fun...
with you.. :)

baby steps

2009-01-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

one step at a time...
one big step to make things happen...
but remember to-
set foot on the ground...

all is said and done...

2009-01-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

small pieces
small IMPORTANT pieces...

twisted :(

2009-01-09T00:31:00.000+08:00

when everything seems twisted,
there are times that I want to give up.

but I still hope for a better tomorrow.
make it happen.

16th ;)

2009-01-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

Let us be like a tool of righteousness to each other.
Let the Lord use us as His tool on Earth.

yii.. happy 16th! ;) love you! thank you for everything..
thanks for keeping me on the right direction.
i just hope we remain faithful, loving, and thoughtful. :)

through rust and shine

2009-01-07T00:42:00.003+08:00

You're a better cook than I am,
You can even be better in whatever household chore there is to be done.
Now, I'm wondering- maybe you can be a better wife than what i can be. ;)
But still I am happy that you still choose to be with me,
and you even planned about our family.
Like those stuff from the kitchen (I don't know what they are called)
Oh, I remember, the stove.
May you and I be forever useful.
Look, some parts are still shining even with the rust along the sides.
I'm also hoping that you will accept my shortcomings,
as well as my inconsistencies.
May we always understand each other.
And always be together. :)

intertwined.

2009-01-06T00:18:00.001+08:00

like these wires,
may we always be
intertwined,
connected,
useful,
flowing
and well kept.

a band makes an eight

2009-01-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

eight is simple.

thin, sometimes thick.

curved.

loved. :)

makes a bond.

first eight

2009-01-04T13:11:00.000+08:00

eight is special.
it is linked with infinity.
endless.
love and fidelity.

Let's celebrate... Eight!